A Self-Love Practice for People Who Apologize When Someone Bumps Into THEM

Because You Deserve to Take Up Space—Even If You’re Groveling “Sorry, Sorry, Sorry” Like a Doormat with a Pulse

Welcome to your 7-8 minute guided meditation audio, designed for chronic apologizers who say “My bad” to a lamppost they didn’t even touch.

In this meditation, you will:

🙃 Breathe deeply and resist the urge to apologize to the oxygen molecules you just disturbed.
🙃 Revisit your latest unnecessary apology—because why wouldn’t you take responsibility for that stranger’s lack of coordination?
🙃 Recite affirmations dripping with unconvincing self-worth—such as "I am not a ‘Sorry’-dispensing vending machine."
🙃 Visualize standing your ground—until reality kicks in and you instinctively whisper, “Oops, sorry.”
🙃 Slowly accept that existing is not, in fact, an inconvenience to the world.

As this meditation ends, take a deep breath and strut forward with the delusion confidence of someone who might go five whole minutes without apologizing to an inanimate object.

Namaste, bitches. You’re a walking apology, but maybe—just maybe—you’re worth more than a doormat.