Detach from Your Ex (Or Keep Cyberstalking Them, Your Call)

A Breakup Healing Meditation That Gently Suggests Blocking Them—But No Pressure

Welcome to your 7-8 minute guided meditation audio, designed for anyone who swears they’re moving on but also just “casually” checks their ex’s Venmo transactions.

In this meditation, you will:

💔 Breathe in self-respect, exhale the overwhelming urge to check their Instagram… again.
💔 Relive the breakup in painful detail—because your brain was going to do it anyway.
💔 Recite affirmations with all the conviction of someone who definitely won’t unblock them later.
💔 Visualize a world where you don’t care—but let’s be real, you’re still watching their stories on a burner account.
💔 Flirt with the idea of blocking them—before immediately checking to see if they’ve posted a thirst trap first.

As this meditation ends, take a deep breath and step into your next chapter—one where you maybe stop stalking their tagged photos like an unhinged detective. Or don’t. Who are we kidding?

Namaste, losers. You’re detached… ish.