🔥 The “Hot Mess Survival Kit” 💀

For When Life Feels Like a Dumpster Fire

🚨 1 Hour & 14 Minutes of Audio for 50% Off 🚨

Because sometimes life isn’t just a mess—it’s a full-blown five-alarm dumpster fire, and you need a realistic survival plan. This audio bundle is packed with just enough pep talks, meditations, and brutal honesty to help you function—whether you’re overthinking, emotionally spiraling, or pretending to have your life together.

What’s Inside?

🎧 "Detach from Drama (Unless It’s Entertaining, Then Lean In)" – Affirmation Program
Because, let’s be honest, you’re not really above the drama. You just pretend to be.

🎧 "You Deserve Happiness (Even Though Your Brain Disagrees)" – Affirmation Program
A much-needed pep talk for anyone whose brain is an emotional saboteur.

🎧 "Overthinking Detox: Let’s Pretend We’re Normal" – Affirmation Program
A fleeting moment of peace before your next inevitable spiral.

🎧 "A Self-Love Practice for People Who Apologize When Someone Bumps Into THEM" – Meditation
Because you really need to stop saying “sorry” for existing.

🎧 "Detach from Your Ex (Or Keep Cyberstalking Them, Your Call)" – Meditation
A guided reflection on whether it’s time to move on… or refresh their Instagram one more time.

Why You Need This Kit:

✔️ You thrive in chaos but also need a break from it.
✔️ Your brain has never let you experience peace for more than 30 seconds.
✔️ You’re still thinking about a conversation from six months ago.
✔️ Self-care sounds exhausting, but this is bare minimum enough to work.

How to Use It:

🎧 Listen whenever life feels unmanageable (so, every day?).
🔥 Use it as a survival guide to keep you upright and functioning.
💀 Play it before bed as a low-effort way to pretend you’re working on yourself.

On sale now for 50% off—because life is already overpriced.

💀🔥 Grab the Hot Mess Survival Kit and keep barely functioning in style.