A Prosperity Meditation for People Who Have No Idea How Money Works

Visualize Abundance While Ignoring the Fact That You Just Impulse-Bought Another Thing You Don’t Need

Welcome to your 7-8 minute guided meditation audio, designed for anyone whose financial strategy consists of manifestation, denial, and Pay in 4.

In this meditation, you will:

💸 Breathe in wealth, exhale financial responsibility—because budgets are just oppression in spreadsheet form.
💸 Visualize an overflowing bank account—while actively ignoring your latest “insufficient funds” email.
💸 Repeat affirmations dripping with delusion—such as "Money flows to me like I flow to the ‘Add to Cart’ button."
💸 Embrace the illusion of prosperity—because feeling rich is basically the same as being rich, right?
💸 Laugh in the face of savings accounts—because who needs a safety net when you’ve got vibes?

As this meditation ends, take a deep breath and step into your abundant future—or at least into another ill-advised online purchase.

Namaste, you clueless capitalists. You’re prosperous… in theory.