Dead Inside but Functional: A 19-Minute Affirmation Program

30 Affirmations for the Emotionally Detached and Barely Functional ☠️

Because you don’t need motivation—you just need to survive.

This 19-minute audio affirmation program is designed for those who wake up tired, navigate life on autopilot, and have accepted that bare minimum is a perfectly valid life strategy. Whether you're dragging yourself through work, dodging social interactions, or simply trying to avoid an existential crisis before bed, these affirmations will guide you through with just the right amount of detachment.

🖤 What’s Inside?
✔️ Morning Motivation – Because responsibilities exist, unfortunately.
✔️ Workplace Mantras – Corporate survival without enthusiasm.
✔️ Social Interaction Survival – Just enough engagement to seem human.
✔️ Dating & Relationships – Emotionally unavailable, but make it charming.
✔️ Self-Care, But Bare Minimum – Drinking water counts as thriving, right?
✔️ Nighttime Affirmations – Because tomorrow is a future-you problem.

🎧 Perfect for:
✔️ People who say "I'm fine" but mean "I have emotionally checked out."
✔️ Anyone who nods along in meetings without hearing a word.
✔️ Those who believe replying to one text a week is peak social engagement.

Listen daily, or whenever you need a reminder that life is meaningless—but at least you’re getting through it.

Congratulations, you’re now ready to exist with minimal effort. Enjoy!