Because You Deserve to Take Up Space… Even If You Keep Saying “Sorry, Sorry, Sorry”
Oh, you sweet, spineless jellyfish 🪼—you’re the type who says “Sorry!” when someone slams into you at the grocery store, aren’t you? 🙈 You’re out here apologizing for existing ✨, shrinking yourself smaller than a clearance rack T-shirt 👕, and mumbling “My bad” when the world’s the one stepping on your toes 👟. Well, buckle up, you chronic over-apologizer 🚗—this is your snarky self-love practice, designed for people who’d rather say “Sorry for breathing” than admit they deserve space 🌍. You’re a walking “Excuse me,” but we’re gonna fake some self-worth ‘til you stop groveling—or at least until you stop crying over it 😭💪. Let’s do this, you beautiful doormat 🌈!
Why You’re Like This (And Why It’s Ridiculous) 😂
Let’s get real—you didn’t choose to be the human equivalent of a “Please, after you” sign 🚪; you were just born with a guilt complex bigger than a Costco bulk aisle 🏬. Someone cuts you off in traffic? “Sorry, I was in your way!” 🚙🙏. Your boss forgets your name? “Sorry, it’s forgettable!” 😅📛. You’d apologize to a chair if you bumped into it 🪑—and you probably have, whispering “Oh gosh, my fault” while it just sits there judging you 👀.
Normal people take up space like it’s their birthright 🌟. You? You’re convinced you’re a cosmic typo, here to inconvenience everyone with your mere presence 🌌🤦♀️. It’s pathetic, it’s adorable, and it’s why I’m here cackling 😂—but let’s slap some self-love on that sorry soul of yours, even if you’ll apologize for reading this wrong 🙄❤️.
The Self-Love Practice: Stop Saying Sorry (Or At Least Fake It) 🌿💖
Grab a corner of your cluttered life—your bed, your car, that one stair you always trip on 🛏️🚗🪜—and let’s pretend you’re worth something for five minutes. No candles or sage needed 🕯️🌿—you’d just apologize to the smoke for bothering it anyway 💨🙈. Eyes closed (or open, you indecisive mess 😏), and let’s go.
Breathe Like You Mean It 🌬️
Inhale deep—fill those lungs like you’re not a guest in your own body 💨. Did someone bump you today? Picture it—then exhale a loud “Hmph!” instead of your usual “Sorry!” 😤. You’re not in the way; they are—or at least tell yourself that ‘til your shaky voice believes it 🙋♀️. Repeat ‘til you’re dizzy—or ‘til you apologize to the air for breathing too loud 😂💦.
Stand Like You’re Not a Pushover 🧍♀️
Plant your feet, shoulders back—pretend you’re a warrior, not a wet noodle ⚔️🍝. Imagine that jerk who elbowed you at the coffee shop ☕—did you say “Sorry”? Ugh, of course you did 🤦♀️. Now visualize pushing back—just a little, not enough to get arrested 👮♀️—and saying “Watch it” in your head 😎. Feel that tiny spine growing? Good—don’t ruin it by muttering “Sorry for standing here” 🙅♀️.
Look at Yourself (And Don’t Flinch) 🪞
Face a mirror—yes, you, with the eye bags and guilt wrinkles 👀—and stare like you’re not about to apologize for your reflection 😳. Say “I deserve space” out loud 📣—quietly at first, because you’re you, but then louder, like you’re scaring off a raccoon 🦝. Did it feel weird? Perfect—that’s growth, or maybe just indigestion 🌮. Either way, you’re not saying “Sorry” to your own face today ✋.
Take Up Space—Literally 🌍
Spread your arms wide—like you’re claiming the whole damn room ✈️—and hold it for 10 seconds. Did your cat stare? Your roommate glare? Good—they should know you’re here 🐾👤. Whisper “This is mine” to the universe 🌠—not the rent, just the vibe—and ignore that voice saying “Sorry for existing” 🤫. You’re not a ghost; you’re a gremlin staking a claim 👹💪.
Mantra for the Meek 🗣️
Clench your fists ✊, look at that sorry sap in the mirror 🪞, and growl this ‘til it sticks: “I am a space-taking badass 🌟, and I’m done apologizing for it.” Say it like you mean it—or fake it ‘til you stop cringing 😬. You’re not a “Sorry!” machine—you’re a chaos queen reclaiming her throne 👑💥, even if you whisper “Oops” right after 🙈.
Affirm Your Right to Exist 🌈
Step into your messy life 🏠, glare at that chair you bumped earlier 🪑, and repeat this ‘til your guilt shuts up: “I am a sorry-saying disaster 💬, but I deserve space anyway.” Say it with sass 😏—you’re not just here; you’re here, and the world can deal or cry about it 🌍😤. You’re a walking apology, but today, you’re keeping one “Sorry” to yourself 🎉.
You’re Allowed to Be Here (Even If You Don’t Believe It) 🌿
Here’s the kicker, you over-apologizing angel 😇: nobody’s mad you exist—except maybe you, and that’s your problem to fake-fix 💅. That guy who bumped you? He forgot already 🚶♂️. The waiter you said “You too!” to? He’s heard worse 🍽️. You’re not a burden—you’re just a human glitch who says “Sorry” like it’s punctuation 🤷♀️, and I’m cackling at your chaos 😂. Keep practicing this self-love crap—you might stop apologizing for breathing one day, or at least cut it down to once an hour ⏰💖.
You’re not a doormat; you’re a doormat with potential, and I’m obsessed with your sorry little glow-up 🔥👑. Want more ways to fake self-worth? Stumble over to RuinYourLifeNow.com for our free PDF, “How to Stop Saying Sorry When You’re Not: A Loser’s Guide to Space” 📖🌌. Keep taking up space, you beautiful mess—you’re a sorry queen, and I’m here for it 😘🎉.
The Author: Dicholas Chad Pansy
Dicholas Chad Pansy is a self-proclaimed professional overthinker who spent three years writing latest book, “Maybe I’m the problem,” and another two years apologizing to everyone involved in its publication. After earning his degree in Existential Panic, he dedicated his life to turning his anxiety into content, which his therapist calls "an interesting coping mechanism."
Products Featured In This Blog